This Shit Happens in Schools

I became a teacher because I thought it would be a rewarding career with decent holidays. Nearly twenty years later, I've been sworn at by five-year-olds, attacked with wheelie bins, investigated mysterious poos and discovered that university doesn't prepare you for half the shit that happens in a classroom.

I took the teaching seriously. I planned lessons, managed classrooms, helped children learn and did my best to make a difference. Somehow, I still ended up watching a student dab himself into a light pole, investigating a Christmas tree growing out of a toilet and attending a professional learning session on how to milk almonds. And don't even get me started on school camps.

From Kindergarten classrooms to high school playgrounds, these are the stories I've brought home to my wife and told in staffrooms for years. Some had me laughing so hard I could barely speak. Others made me question my career choices. A few reminded me exactly why I became a teacher in the first place.

This Shit Happens in Schools is another book in my series of funny true stories. It's about the kids who test your patience, the colleagues who probably shouldn't be left unsupervised and the little moments that stay with you long after the school bell rings.

Because sometimes you change a child's life.

And sometimes you just have to work out who shit under the beanbag.